There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
