We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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