farters have to be the big spoon...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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