..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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