im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
