I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
