Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Everyone says I win the strip club
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
