so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize