I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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