Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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