Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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