Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
