Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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