I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.