i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain