Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex