why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
