Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I love having hate sex.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
