Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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