he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
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i dont even know how to be here
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
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I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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