Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize