Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize