yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
