Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
