At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
