i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
