Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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