There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize