Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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