remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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