I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
