and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
vagina is talking i cant
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
