What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
