This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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