meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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