Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My Higher Power is John Stamos
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
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