just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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