Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize