ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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