too bad you live with your parents still
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
