O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
