Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize