Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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