please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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