she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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