I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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