I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize