I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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