They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
