booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
