I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
