So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize