I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
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Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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