spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
