dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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